More Alabama Gubernatorial Advertisment Dumbness!

Posted: May 12, 2010 in Current Events, Politics
Tags: , , , , , ,

Wow, the political ads in this state reach a special level of dumbness.  Check out this attack ad against Republican candidate Bradley Byrne (paid for by “The True Republican PAC”):

So Bradley Byrne supported the teaching of evolution in our schools.  The horror!  And apparently evolution is a liberal idea.  Probably socialist even.  I think it was a theory pushed by Marx himself!

Then he said that the bible was only “partially true”!  Oh no!  Must be a liberal, because I know liberals do not believe in the bible!  (I run with a liberal-leaning woman who is very active within her church.  But I know that’s really all just a clever ploy just to look Christian!  She’s not fooling me!)  Let’s look at what he actually said, without all that “…”.   Here’s the quote: “”I believe there are parts of the Bible that are meant to be literally true and parts that are not.”  Now somebody might come along and think ‘Hey, isn’t that guy just saying there are parts that are literally true and other parts that are only figuratively true?’  You know what I call those folks?  Pointy-headed liberals!  Look at you, with your fancy words like “figuratively”.  Go back to Harvard you carpetbagger!  The bible is meant to be taken word-for-word literally!  For example:

Leviticus 20:9

If anyone curses his father or mother, he must be put to death.

This is Alabama.  We take the bible literally.  The man I elect governor of this fine state will pass a law to issue the death penalty to all those who curse their father or mother, to be consistent with the literal translation of the bible.  Maybe it is the actuarial man in me, but cursing is not nice.  And it makes sense…………………………………………………………does it to you?  (Makes sense to Byrne, he has since publicly stated that he believes that the bible is all literally true, every word.)

Gasp!  In his history as legislator, he has voted for tax increases!  This is Alabama, there is a special place in hell for anyone who has ever supported a tax increase, ever!  If the government is so smart, how come they can’t figure out how to pay for stuff without money?  Hey government, go get a job you lazy bum!  Government is probably an illegal immigrant anyway.  We should send government back to Mexico so it will keep its hands off our Medicare!

Wait….hold on….darn sarcasm button got stuck in the “on” position again!  I have to take that thing to the shop!  Anyway, this is what our political race for governor is looking like.  Pretty sad, right?

But at least we have this guy, still cracking me up with his Tim James parodies:

Gold!  I think if it looks like this race is going to really be decided between Tim James or Roy Moore, I am going to write this guy’s name in when I vote!

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Comments
  1. Does it not boggle the mind the amount of money spent on political ads? and poorly thought out political ads? Do these guys running for office have that much money they can afford to waste it? I thought you were teasing when you said True Republican Party PAC – but I thought,let me double check this, and it is real! http://tpmlivewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/2010/05/rovian-tactics-in-alabama.php I don’t know anything about this source, if it is legit or not..but does this sound right?

  2. gesvol says:

    I don’t know anything about that source either, but the article links The Birmingham News, which is a legitimate news source. And sadly that does sound right. No surprise that the AEA would play both sides of the fence. No surprise that they would try to cover their tracks through PAC-to-PAC transfers (common in this state due to weak regulation regarding such things). And no surprise that Hubbert would decide to fund an attack ad based on personal animosity.

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