So I recently said that I didn’t understand why the media was taking Donald Trump seriously as a Presdiential candidate.  But recently, I’ve ran across some polling data.  A NBC/Wall Street Journal poll has Trump in second place to Mitt Romney.  A CNN poll has Donald Trump tied with Mike Huckabee for first.  And according to Public Policy Polling, Trump has surged into the lead of a hypothetical Republican primary by 9 points over the next closest potential candidate Huckabee.  What on earth is going on?  The guy is a reality TV show host that pretends to be a successful business man but is actually a man who inherited a shitload of money from his dad and makes his money by being Donald Trump.  This is a guy that people want to be President of the United States?

Wonder how Mr. "Dancing With The Stars" would do in the polls?

But now I’ve seen some of the wisdom Trump has been disseminating via interviews, and it makes TOTAL sense!

  • Trump on Obama’s birthplace:  Oh goody, Donald has decided he’s a birther!  Oh really, he just has doubts and he wants to get to the bottom of it.  He’s dispatched his own investigators.  They are looking into it and according to Trump they “cannot believe what they are finding.”  Well that’s good enough proof for me, Obama was born in Kenya.  Let’s get a special election going right now.  But Trump goes even further.  He said, “If he (Obama) weren’t lying why wouldn’t he just solve it?”  The logic is infallible.  Obama clearly was just playing a shell game when he released his birth certificate, he wasn’t serious about solving it, so he must be lying.  To further prove his point, Donald Trump released his own birth certificate.  Except it really wasn’t a birth certificate at all.  But those are just details.  Details aren’t important.  Unless you have a name that sounds Muslim to some people.
  • Trump on rising gas prices:  If you been to the pumps lately, you have noticed that gas is getting pricey again (at least by our standards).  So what to do, what to do?  Fortunately Trump has the answer!  Tell OPEC to lower their oil prices.  Brilliant!  We just tell them to lower prices.  Why didn’t anyone else think of that?  So what’s the key to this winning strategy?  Prices “will go down if you say it properly.”  You see, Trump knows it is all about how the message is delivered.  As he says, “You know, I can send two executives into a room.  They can say the same thing.  One guy comes home with the bacon and the other one doesn’t.  And I’ve seen it a thousand times.  It’s the messenger.”  The man knows what he is talking about!

Donald learned negotiating/persuasion/”brainpower” tactics from FedEx commercials!

  • Donald Trump on Libya: Donald said that we should either go in there and take all the oil or don’t go in there at all!  That’s right, we should take the oil.  It’s our right as Americans to take the world’s oil!  Now Trump leaves it a mystery to why we don’t just tell them to give us their oil.  But perhaps Trump figures that using his “brainpower” to take advantage of everyone all the time isn’t very sporting.  It’s kinda like how Luke and Obi Wan didn’t use their Jedi mind tricks to just convince the imperial construction crew to stop building the Death Star.  After all, how would that be fair?
  • Donald Trump on racial relations:  Donald says “he has a great relationship with the blacks.”  I’m sure “the blacks” are glad to hear it!
  • Donald Trump on religion:  Donald always goes to church on Christmas.  And on Easter.  And “during the Sundays.”  I’m sure “the Sundays” are glad to hear it!
  • Donald Trump on his daughter Ivanka:  “I’ve said if Ivanka wasn’t my daughter, perhaps he would be dating her.”  See, that’s….that’s……um….ok, so that’s not a good example, because that’s just wrong.

So it is clear that with the policy expertise that Trump has been displaying, he should be a frontrunner for President.  Or perhaps what this really means is that Republican voters are so dismayed with their choices that they are just saying Trump to pollsters as a proxy for “everyone else sucks”, realizing that polls don’t count as actual votes.  Nah, that couldn’t be it.  Polls are ALWAYS right!  Right?

Just ask this guy!


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