The World’s (Not So) Greatest Person In The World!

Posted: May 30, 2011 in Current Events, Miscellaneous
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Jack Ass or Jack Scott? I'm told Jack Scott, seen here stepping into a trailer classy enough for city hall but not to live in. That's one sweet government building! (but trashy home)

For those who don’t know (and since the show was on MSNBC, that would be most people), Keith Olbermann use to have a daily bit on his show where he would name the “Worst Person In The World”.  Usually this was simply aimed at people Olbermann just didn’t like (which really could just about be anyone, but usually someone at Fox News), but sometimes he would use it to highlight a person who had taken some sort of egregious action.

But Olbermann is off the air now.  So there’s a void.  A void that should, nay, MUST be filled.  And I am just the person to do it!  So without further ado, here is my first nominee for the World’s (Not So) Funniest Blog’s World’s (Not So) Greatest Person In The World!.

The town of Cordova, Alabama was not hit by one but two tornadoes on April 27th.  As is the case with many communities in this state, that has left a good many of Cordova’s residents without a home.  Fortunately FEMA stands ready to deliver some temporary housing for these folks, an offer the mayor naturally gladly accepted…..wait…..actually the mayor said no.  That’s right, the mayor said no to temporary housing for the residents of his city.  He says that because the city has an ordinance banning single-wide trailers, he simply can’t allow it.

Wow!  Mayor Jack Scott is awesome!  Wouldn’t want trailers bringing down those property values, would you?  Sure, the town is basically just a big pile of debris right now, and some people are living in tents (I’m sure they are upscale tents though!).  But trailers are so redneck!  And one thing Cordova, Alabama is not is redneck!  The city HAS allowed a bank and pharmacy to move into single wide trailers and even the police department and city hall has moved into trailers.  You know, because it’s classy when it businesses or governments using trailers.

People who don’t know what’s best for the town, namely the citizens of Cordova, are pissed.  An estimated 2,000 of them (to put this in perspective, the town’s total population is only about 2,500) showed up at a town hall meeting to voice their displeasure and circulate a petition to remove the mayor.  Man, no good deed goes unpunished I guess!  It seems that the townspeople have gotten the idea that Scott is using this disaster to get the rift-raft out of town (namely the citizens of Cordova), seeing as the poor would be the most likely in need of help.  Um….duh.  Of course he is!  The poor?  Let them live on the street or get the hell out, because seriously, screw those guys!

Does Jack Scott feel guilty?  You bet your ass he doesn’t!  He says that if he allowed those temporary trailers to come in, they may become permanent!  Sure, other towns claim to have found a loophole around this dilemma by making the lift on similar restrictions temporary.  But you know what Jack Scott calls those people?  Suckers!  Because now folks are going to avoid those towns like the plague with their ugly trashy trailers.  Now those people are going to flock to Cordova so that they can go eat at such fancy 5-star restaurants as the Rebel Queen (no, I did not make that restaurant’s name up).

So congratulations, Jack Scott!  You are a revolutionary thinker!  Some people may call you jerk or idiot or assclown.  But I call you the World’s (Not So) Greatest Person In The World!

When told of his nomination for this prestigious award, an excited Jack Scott cited this man as his inspiration!

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