Archive for December, 2011

Why not?  Everyone else makes predictions.  How hard could it be?  So this will all happen in 2012.

  • Frustrated by the lack of ability to find somebody better than Mitt Romney, Republicans will instead nominate Ronald Reagan’s legacy.  Should the legacy be elected, a Super Ronnie Committee will be formed to base decisions based on interpretations of Reagan’s legacy as it has been reshaped since his death.
  • Donald Trump and that idiot that used to be governor of Alaska will continue to threaten to run for President.  Their ego will continue to believe that people care, but somehow their instincts will allow them to avoid actually entering the contest and getting crushed and ending the speculation.
  • People will realize that debating Tim Tebow’s skills as a quarterback and/or his relationship to God is a pointless exercise and he will just be another NFL quarterback.
  • Becoming even more emboldened, Republicans will stop with any pretense otherwise and go all in with support for the rich job creators and propose totally flipping the tax brackets, allowing the rich job creators to pay no taxes while the poor dredges of society pay 35%.  The rich job creators will be defined as those earning more than $200,000 annually.  Democrats will of course fight back.  They will “compromise” with the GOP, raising the definition to $225,000.  There will be much praise that government still works for the people.
  • We will bomb another country.  I mean, chances are we will, right?
  • This is the year we finally learn that chemtrails are real after all!
  • The world will cease to exist on December 21st at 11:59:59 pm.  The world will resume its existence on December 22nd at 12:00:00 am.
  • This blog will become bigger than Google, Facebook, and YouTube combined!
  • I will have my first injury-free calendar year as a runner.
  • Just so that I get at least one prediction right, none of the above predictions will become true (except for the one about running, I really, REALLY want that to happen, darn it!).

Happy New Year!

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You may have thought when President Barack Obama released his long form birth certificate, that would have for all practical purposes ended the so-called “birther” movement in this country.  But this is Alabama.  We speak English.  We also apparently file stupid lawsuits.  A Birmingham man did just that when he filed a suit seeking to remove Obama from the Democratic primary ballot this past Friday.  The basis is of course the claim that Obama is not a natural-born citizen of this country and thus is ineligible to be President.  Sigh.

Dear nation, please do not judge this state based on our more intelligent deficient members.  I know things like this makes it easy to make fun of our state, but you have to believe me, we aren’t all this dumb.  It’s just that our idiots have a knack for finding attention.  This is but one fool.  I’m sure he means well.  He just can’t help himself.

Despite the “staggering evidence” (common sense not included, though I imagine a lot of ‘interwebs’ material will be) that this guy supposedly has, hopefully the court does not waste time with this.  Suppose we somehow shift into some alternate universe and Obama is found not to be a U.S. citizen.  You know what is going to happen if Obama is on the ballot in 2012 in this state.  He is going to lose!  I’ve been here long enough to know there is no way in blue hell that this state is going to vote Barack Obama over ANY Republican candidate.  I don’t think Obama will even step foot into this state campaigning.  Why bother?  Since this state (like almost all states) is a winner-take-all electoral vote system, Obama is going to get the exact number of electoral votes whether he campaigns here or not, whether he gets any votes or not, zero.  He may as well not even be on the ballot.  What damages would there be to this guy????

Now I am really being ridiculous here, but this is a pretty ridiculous issue!  This guy has nothing to fear, Obama will go down in flames in Alabama in 2012.  Heck, if the economy doesn’t turn around, Obama is going to have his hands full in ANY state!  So let’s use our limited resources on more serious issues, like chemtrails, reptoid lizard people, and the satanic, evil, phallic symbols at Denver International Airport and finding out why the heck aren’t these being asked about at the Republican debates?!!! 🙂

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I actually tried to watch the debate last night.  You know, I figured I would be a good citizen and try to watch at least one, right?  Only made it about 20 minutes though.  Between the blithering at the beginning about how important the democratic process is, the stupid questions, the similarity of the positions of all the candidates, and the format that only allows for sixty-second soundbite friendly responses, I got bored.  Reading transcripts online is just so much faster.  Anyway, here were some things said that annoyed me.

  • “And if you will, how many jobs do you think you can create and how long will that take?” – Diane Sawyer – Right off the bat, a stupid question. Yes, the President has so much control over the economy that he/she can dictate exactly how many jobs they will create and how long it will take.  Really?    The only jobs a President can directly create are staff position jobs.  Other than that, the impact of policy on job creation is simply not quantifiable, and it’s not fair to ask.
  • “My proposal actually does create 11.5 million jobs…..” – Mitt Romney – Sigh.  At this point, Mitt will say anything he thinks will help him win, won’t he?  (To be fair, I know other politicians, including Obama, have been guilty of trying to quantify job creation too.)
  • “Let’s not forget that only one President has ever cut Medicare for seniors in this country and it’s Barack Obama.” – Mitt Romney – Oh Obama, burn! In your face!  Of course, it’s not true.  And if you are serious about balancing the budget, then getting the costs of Medicare under control better be on your agenda, too, Mr. Romney.  But don’t let facts get in the way of a good slam!
  • “We can cut government bureaucracy which is Obama Care.  NFIB tells us, that’s the small business agency, that we will lose 1.6 million jobs over five years if we keep Obama Care.” – Michelle Bachmann  –  OK, for one, the NFIB is A small business advocacy group, not some sort of unbiased (and certainly not THE) agency.  For another, the study she is citing was completed over a year before the Affordable Health Care Act was passed based on a theoretical proposal which, as you might imagine, was quite different from the law that was actually passed.  So that study has no relevance whatsoever.  (As an aside, isn’t actually using the term “Affordable Health Care Act” instead of Obama Care considered a faux pas in Republican circles?)
  • “I’ll tell you what.  Ten thousand bucks?  $10,000 bet?”Mitt Romney – This was said in response to Rick Perry’s assertion that Romney supported the individual mandate countrywide in his book.  It just comes off a schoolyard comeback.  ‘Uh-huh.  Ah-huh.  Uh-huh.  Ah-huh.  You wanna bet?!!!’  (Some have said that Romney’s mistake here is that he used such a big dollar amount.  Hmm.  I don’t think the fact that Romney is rich is exactly a big shocker.  Yes, he’s a lot better of financially than most people.  So is everyone else that is running.  “Common” folks can’t and don’t run for President.  Everyone knows this, right?)
  • “These people are terrorists.  They teach terrorism in their schools.  They have textbooks that say ‘if there are 13 Jews and 9 Jews are killed, how many are left?’…” – Newt Gringrich – Said in reference to the Palestinians.  Now personally I wished we didn’t get involved in such conflicts as the one between the Israelis and Palestinians.  But if we are going to insist on saying that we can help broker a deal between the two sides, it’s probably best not to go out of our way to insult one of those sides.  (Calling one of the sides “invented people” doesn’t help either.)  Hard to claim impartiality when you do so.  This is the kind of stuff that terrorist organizations use for propaganda.  (Also, that textbook claim just has all the trappings of a gross exaggeration, some ridiculous claim based on chain e-mail or something.)
  • “And we let the Israeli leadership describe what they think is the right course of action.” And also, “Before I make a statement of that nature, I get on the phone with my friend Bibi Netanyahu, and say ‘would it help if I say this?  What would you like me to do?  Let’s work together because we’re partners.'” – Mitt Romney – Mitt, that’s all fine and dandy, but Israel doesn’t let me have a vote in their elections.  So I would prefer that the leaders of this nations show leadership and make decisions based on what is in the best interest of the United States, not to let Israel dictate our policy decisions.
  • “We have one shot to get rid of ObamaCare, that’s it. It is 2012.” – Michelle Bachmann – Yes, one shot.  Because if Obama is re-elected, the world ends and there will never be another opportunity to pass legislation ever again.  Ever!  Ever ever!
  • “Governor Terry Branstad is my role model.” – Newt Gingrich – Wow!  The debate is in Iowa where the first vote for the Republican nomination will be held, and the governor of Iowa just happens to be your role model.  What are the odds?  That sure is some good luck right there, let me tell you.  Either that, or Newt Gingrich is the biggest suck up in the world.  Yeah, it’s probably that.

I really wished the Republican party was serving up a better selection.

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What a wonderful time to be alive!  Everywhere I turn, I see new ideas that will either change the world or already have.  You know, the type of things that make you say “that’s f’n brilliant” and then bury your head into your hand.

This gesture is totally misunderstood! He's just shielding his eyes from the brilliance.

  • It was recently revealed that during the financial crisis, the Federal Reserve let the banks borrow $7.8 trillion (and $1.2 trillion in one day alone).  Yes, trillion.  With a “t”.  OK, so that’s a freakin’ lot of money (makes that $700 billion of TARP money that everyone likes to whine about seem pretty insignificant, doesn’t it?) .  Fortunately, they kept this information (with the Fed’s help) secret from Congress so they wouldn’t know how bad it really was.  Wouldn’t want the peons to regulate the brilliant banking executives who clearly know best.  Imagine how much money they would have needed if they didn’t know what they were doing?   They didn’t tell stockholders either.  Why should the peons that technically own the company know how the company is actually doing?It’s ok though.  At least they were just loans.  We will get that money back, plus interest.  Sweet, sweet interest.  Let’s just check that rate.   Wait?  It says the rate was below market value?  Um, how much?  As low as 0.01%?  Does that even count as an interest rate?  Geez.  So the banks took that money and then lent it out at market value, likely buying treasury bonds.  So the U.S. gave the money to the banks at basically no interest just so they could borrow it back with interest?  F’n brilliant.
  • The Republicans have finally chosen a moderator for one of their debates that will get to the real issues.  That man is Donald Trump.  Man, I hope the candidates have to compete in a “challenge” where they have to sell overpriced pizzas or something to donors before they all go to the “boardroom” where somebody will be “fired”.  Maybe the next debate can be on an island where the candidates can compete for “immunity”.  F’n brilliant.
  • Herman Cain dropped out of the race after it was revealed that he had a 13 year affair with another woman (or “friendship” as he calls it).  Thank goodness he also announced that he was going to be sticking around with a new website called “Cain Solutions”.  Because we need to have solutions to the issues of the day, such as the Chinese getting nuclear weapons 45 years ago or that Libyan war position, as soon as he remembers it.  F’n brilliant.
  • Republicans are fighting tooth and nail to keep this country from extending the payroll tax cut.  Clearly while tax cuts for the wealthy “job creators” don’t need to be “paid for”, tax cuts for the rest of us do.  Merry Christmas.  F’n brilliant.
  • I saw an ad for a new Carlos Mencia “comedy” special.  That guy is still around?  F’n brilliant.

I bet you are saying that this blog is f’n brilliant right now!

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