Romney’s Vice Presidential Candidate Selection

Posted: May 7, 2012 in Politics
Tags: , , , ,

Forget everything you have heard from those lamestream media folks about Chris Christie, Marco Rubio, Jeb Bush, and the like.  I have the real scoop on who Mitt Romney is considering as a potential running mate!

Why considering?  The Scream and Mitt Romney share much in common.  For instance, Mitt earned around $20 million in 2011.  The Scream earned $120 million just last week.  So clearly they are both job creators that know how the economy works!

Potential Drawback:  The Scream is too emotional for Mitt.  By which I mean The Scream shows signs of actually having emotions.

Why considering?  The Donald shares Mitt’s appreciation of the entertaining value of firing people!  Mitt loves to tell the stories about people getting fired, like that time his dad shut down that plant in Michigan to move it to Wisconsin.  Hilarious!  Meanwhile, Trump’s whole career pretty much revolves around producing a show where he fires people.

Potential Drawback:  Mitt’s perfect hair does not get along with Donald’s….well whatever he calls what he has on his head.

Why considering?  Some people think Mitt should choose a woman to help narrow the gender gap in his support.  But he knows that is a lost cause.  Only thing to do is to make sure he just kills it with the male vote!  This is Rosie Huntington-Whiteley.  She is Megan Fox’s replacement in the Transformer movies and was rated numero uno in Maxim’s Hot 100.  She is clearly very qualified!

Potential Drawback:  She cannot see Russia from her house.  Also, she is British, so she cannot run.  Stupid rules.

Why considered?  There are those horrible rumors that Mitt Romney mistreated his own pet on a family vacation.  So what better way to help dispel those rumors and get pet lovers back on his side than tapping one of American’s most beloved beagles, Snoopy?

Potential Drawback:  Counterintuitively, while Snoopy likes to sleep on top of his doghouse, he refuses to ride on top of a car.

Why considered?  Only because it is simply brilliant!  Why would Joe Biden switch over to Mitt’s side?  Simple.  Mitt is crazy loaded with money.  Everyone has their price.  He is simply going to buy him.  Obama can’t run without a Veep.  Mitt wins by default!  That’s how Mitt rolls, Bain Capital style!

Potential Drawback:  What possible drawback could there be?  It’s the perfect plan!

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Comments
  1. I loved it, especially the part about Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. I’d vote for her as a Veep.

  2. List of X says:

    I don’t think anyone would actually notice if Biden would be on both Romney’s and Obama’s ticket.

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