Biggest Problem Facing This Nation? Kids!

Posted: January 27, 2013 in Current Events, Miscellaneous
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I told you so!

I told you so!

And here I was thinking that perhaps the biggest problem facing our nation was unemployment, rising health care costs, gun violence, or some other such nonsense.  But reading recent news, I have discovered that people smarter than me have figured out that it is kids that must be stopped!!!  I mean, just take a look at what these little buggers have been up to!

  • A 5 year-old boy in Mississippi had the audacity to show up to school wearing shoes that were white and red!  The school requires black shoes because…..who the hell knows, but they do.  The boy’s mom tried to cover the shoes with a black marker, but that didn’t fool the school!  School officials did the only reasonable thing they could do, called the cops to take the kid home.  You see, he and his mom needed to be taught a lesson.  That’s right, you white and red shoe-wearing little bastard!
  • A 5 year-old girl in Pennsylvania was taken down as a terror threat!  Her weapon of choice?  A Hello Kitty bubble gun!  I know what you are thinking.  How could anyone get hurt by a Hello Kitty bubble gun?  Ah, but as any terrorism expert could tell you, it starts with a Hello Kitty bubble gun, and then next thing you know it’s a Super Soaker CPS 2000!  You just have to nip these things in the bud!
  • Three 6 year-olds in Maryland was suspended for playing cops and robbers  during recess by making his hand like a gun and gun noises with their mouths.  Many imaginary lives were saved!
  • A high school freshman was suspended for the possession of drugs.  The drug in question?  Penicillin!  I have seen the anti-drug movies.  The LSD, the hallucinogens, the antibiotics!

Thank goodness we have people who have set the proper priorities to eliminate the threat of these meddling kids!

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